


All's Fair in Love and Warheads

by meleedamage



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Clones, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, F/M, Lemon, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 19:12:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8025652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meleedamage/pseuds/meleedamage
Summary: Lemony-fresh Tasertricks with a twist.Darcy's printer is possessed and the God of Mischief isn't helping things. Send in the clones!!





	All's Fair in Love and Warheads

Darcy took a long sip of her coffee and her lips turned up into a satisfied grin as she leaned back in her office chair, beaming at her computer screen proudly. She was totally in the zone. It wasn't even lunch time and she had already done the coffee run, transcribed a week's worth of Jane's notes and booked the flights and hotel rooms for the convention Jane had been invited to attend in Chicago. She really was good.

A sudden insistent beeping from the printer in the corner of the lab interrupted her celebration before it had even begun.

"Ugh. Not that fucking printer again!" Jane groaned. "I don't think it's worked right for more than a day or two since it was delivered."

"I'm pretty sure it's a lemon," Darcy replied, standing up out of her chair. "I've called technical support at least four times but it seems like by the time they get here, it's suddenly working again."

"Can you do something about that beeping?" Jane whined. "It's like nails on a blackboard."

"I'll see what I can do," Darcy responded as she approached the printer, "but we might need to find an old priest and a young priest 'cause I'm pretty sure that it's possessed."

She scowled at the display panel pressing the Cancel button. The beeping stopped and she let out a sigh of relief. As she turned towards Jane to take a bow, the printer started making a terrible grinding noise. She checked the paper trays and tried turning it off and on. It suddenly started beeping insistently and displayed a message asking for the cartridge to be replaced. She switched the power off and moved towards the door to the hallway. 

"Off to make the arrangements for an exorcism?" Jane asked, arching a brow. 

"Not yet," Darcy replied. "It's asking for toner. I think I saw some with the office supplies."

She stepped out into the hallway and strode towards the supply room, flinging the door open with an air of determination. She was hardly going to let a little printer problem sour her successful morning. The overhead fluorescent lighting flickered to life as she flipped the switch. Her eyes surveyed the supply room shelves as she tried to remember exactly where she had last seen the cartridges. She approached a tall shelf in the far corner of the room and gazed up at the box of toner with a groan. It sat at the very top, just out of reach.

"Allow me," Loki purred into her ear, reaching up and retrieving the box for her effortlessly as his other arm encircled her waist, firmly pulling her back against his solid body. He gently set it in her hands and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling the side of her neck affectionately. "Gods, you smell delicious."

"Aww. Thanks," she chuckled, squirming out of his grasp. "What would I do without you?"

"You would likely have attempted to scale the shelf," he mused as she turned around to face him. "I imagine that there would have been a great deal of cursing involved." She took a breath, preparing to argue and his lips turned up into a saucy grin. 

"Alright. You got me," she sighed, gazing up at his pretty face.

"Ooh. Whatever shall I do with you now?" he asked, wetting his lips suggestively.

"Nothing," she replied, rolling her eyes. "I need to get back to work but my lunch hour's at noon, if you wanna grab a bite."

"Mmm... Sounds perfect," he said looking down at her fondly. 

As she began to turn away, he yanked her back towards him with a snarl. She landed against him so hard that the box of toner slipped out of her hands and fell to the ground as he nearly knocked her breathless. 

"So ungrateful," he sighed, shaking his head. "Have I not earned a 'thank you'?"

"Well, I guess that's only fair," she said breathily, losing herself in his emerald eyes. He leaned in towards her, capturing her mouth in a sizzling kiss. She melted into his embrace as his sinful lips glided over hers and suddenly there was was only sourness - acrid, pungent, burning sourness. 

"Jesus Christ!" she exclaimed, recoiling in horror. "You taste terrible!! What the hell have you been eating?!" 

"Candy," he said with a wicked grin. 

"What the fuck kind of candy tastes like that?!" she exclaimed as her mouth began to pucker involuntarily.

"I believe that they're called Warheads," he replied. "Barton left a whole carton for me outside my door. I seem quite unable to stop eating them. I fear I might be developing an addiction."

"Well, if you want to keep kissing me, it's time to check into rehab," she said with a frown. "That candy is horrible!"

"I know," he responded gleefully.

"Oh, you rotten bastard! You planned this all along, didn't you?" she accused, poking him in the chest with her index finger. "Wait! Did you fuck with the printer too?" The corners of his mouth twitched as he delighted in her fury. "Well, if you've got nothing to say for yourself, I'm going back to work."

Loki snapped his fingers and the overhead lighting dimmed as the room filled with the soft glow of dozens of flickering candles and the sweet scent of roses from elaborate arrangements set all around them. He passed her a sparkling crystal flute of champagne, raising his own towards her expectantly. 

"This is awesome but I've gotta get back to work," she sighed, looking around the room in disbelief.

"The printer is fixed and I have dispatched a duplicate to your office in your delightful form," he said, tracing his fingers along the outside of her arm enticingly. "Stay here with me and allow me to make things up to you."

"To the supply room," she toasted, clinking her glass against his with a wry smile. Loki sipped from his glass, watching with amusement as Darcy emptied hers and carelessly tossed it over her shoulder. Her brows knitted in confusion when the crash of the glass against floor didn't follow and she glanced over her shoulder discovering Loki holding her empty glass with a devilish grin. 

Long fingers continued to graze up and down the length of her arm and she realized that the Loki holding her glass was a duplicate. She swallowed thickly and slowly turned her head back towards the actual God of Mischief. He winked at her and finished his champagne as two additional duplicates appeared at either side. Darcy was completely surrounded.

She took in a sharp breath as they converged on her, tearing off her clothing and covering every inch of her exposed skin in a flurry of sensuous kisses. She wrapped her arms around Loki's neck and pulled him down towards her.

"You don't still taste like Warheads, do you?" she asked, quirking a brow. 

"I don't think so but we better play it safe," he replied, licking his lips seductively. He sank to his knees as the Loki behind her lowered her to the spot at the edge of a green velour chaise and sat directly behind her, pulling her flush against his chest and rasping his teeth against the side of her neck. She gazed into the eyes of the Loki kneeling in front of her, as his large hands seized her ankles and settled her legs over his broad shoulders one at a time. Her breath caught in her chest as the Loki behind her reached a hand down and glided his fingers between her slick folds, parting her lips as the Loki in front of her lit into her ravenously. 

Darcy took in a sharp breath and grabbed a handful of his dark hair grinding up against him shamelessly as two duplicates appeared, kneeling at either side, hard as marble and eager to please. The Loki on her right covered her mouth with his own, smothering her cries of ecstasy. The Loki on her left ran his tongue over her collarbone and palmed her breast roughly. The Loki behind her held her tightly in his arms, whispering a torrent of filth in her ear while the Loki with his face buried between her legs swirled his Silvertongue over her clit, inscribing her with a lengthy, sincere and obscene apology. 

She leaned back against Loki, moaning into his mouth and tugging on his hair as he drove three fingers into her slick heat. The hot rush of her heart beat filled her ears and every inch of her was throbbing as his clever tongue glided over her smooth as cursive. 

There were so many lips and hands and tongues moving over her skin that she thought she might lose her mind. Loki's fingers plunged into her with a searing stretch, beckoning her to come unglued and his tongue brushed against hers making her tingle all over. 

"Shall I finish you off like this or have I apologized sufficiently to get up off my knees and fuck you properly?" he whispered into her ear hotly. She pulled his glistening face towards hers with her fist in his hair and he was suddenly pressing her up against the wall and driving himself into her with a growl. Loki's slick lips met hers as he gave her every throbbing inch and they traded muffled moans. Her mouth flooded with the tart taste of her own excitement as Loki thrust into her with sharp snaps of his hips that had her seeing stars. 

She raked her nails across his back and her wrists were suddenly seized and pinned above her head by some unforeseen force. It only served to wind her tighter and her skin rippled with goosebumps as she struggled weakly against her invisible bonds. She broke away from Loki as her breathing became ragged and he continued to fuck her relentlessly. He whispered hot words of encouragement in her ear, telling her how beautiful she was and how good she felt and implored her to give him what he wanted most.

She clenched down with every muscle that she had as she came in bursts of colourful profanity, rushing euphoria and fireworks behind her eyes. He erupted inside of her, gasping her name as he thrust himself into her gracelessly and groaned softly in response to each firm squeeze as she rang him out.  
He pressed soft kisses against her skin whispering to her quietly in a language that she didn't understand and she basked in the lingering warmth of her climax with a lazy grin.

"Mmm... Darcy... Darcy... Darcy..." he murmured between delicate kisses.

"Darcy... Darcy..." Jane called out, interrupting her daydream. "Have you even heard a word I've been saying?"

"No," Darcy replied with a shake of her head as her eyes darted around the lab in confusion. "Sorry. I was somewhere else entirely..."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Jane said archly as the printer in the corner of the room started beeping insistently. "Ugh. Not that fucking printer again!" 

"Yeah," Darcy sighed. "I'm pretty sure it's a lemon."


End file.
